Trump Not Sure What Acquittal Means but, Knows It Sounds Bad So, He Doesn’t Want it
Senate Floor, Capitol Hill
The votes are in and the Senate has narrowly decided not to hear witnesses at the impeachment trial for President Donald Trump set for a vote next Wednesday at 4PM. Will the president be acquitted? Naturally, questions involving such a big vocabulary often stump Mr. Trump and so for much of the last few days anyone who mentioned any variation of the word acquittal was met with a sharp plugging of the ears and saying “LA LA LA can’t hear you!” from yes, the President of The United States of America.
Cabinet members, golfing buddies, and even the White House janitorial staff gave valiant efforts in explaining the definition of the word but, to no avail. “I know it sounds bad, so, I don’t want it!” tweeted the president at 5:44 AM this past Friday morning, clearly stressed from the possibility of… umm… being found not guilty.
Donald, we hear you. We see you! Your problems are valid and matter!
-A Well-Mannered Grump