Study Shows 9 out of 10 Moms are Bleeding Profusely, Can’t Read Their Screen, and Continue to Scroll Through Facebook
A recent study my colleges and I completed ended with the conclusion that yes, at this point into quarantine, 9 out of 10 moms are bleeding profusely from their fingertips and yet find themselves in a never-ending scrolling and scrubbing cycle, lost in the ones and zeros of the internet.
My name is Doctor Numbers and you can take my word for anything number related because my name makes it seem like I would be a trustworthy source when it comes to the topic of numbers. Doctor Numbers, that’s me. Furthermore, yes, umm, as such, and things. I do declare, given my namesake that 9 out of 10 mothers are bleeding blood in tremendous quantities out their fingertips as they consume internet and other such stuff.
Some have made a point of calling out my lack of data or any real comprehensible vocabulary on the subject. I say this need not be paid much attention to as I am Doctor Numbers and so what I say must be factual. I am Doctor Numbers, a number doctor.
OK, I am done. I am Doctor Numbers.
-A Well-Mannered Grump