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Sample Size of One Good Enough For This Voter

 

This is Phil.

Phil sees through the bullshit.

Phil gets the Wall Street Journal sent to his loft, in Manhattan.

IN MANHATTAN!

Phil voted early.

Phil saw an article about X and will forever believe in X.

X was in the Wall Street Journal.

THE WALL STREET JOURNAL!

The Wall Street Journal is a newspaper that this millennial pays a monthly due of $14.99 so Phil can have a Sunday morning routine.

A routine where Phil wakes up, splashes cold water on Phil’s face, churns out fifty quick clapping push-ups, speaks to Phils self in the Phil person omniscient tense because Phil is the Phil of Phil’s world, slowly walks down five flights of stairs to retrieve Phil’s Wall Street Journal.

WALL STREET JOURNAL!

And then walks back up five flights of stairs to Phil’s loft.

LOFT!

In Manhattan.

IN MANHATTAN!

So yeah, Phil doesn’t need primary resources or fact checks.

Phil is Phil.

PHILLLLLLLL!

By: Joe McNaney

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