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PRINCESS OF NEW YORKTOPIA FLAUNTS RICHES, PEASANTS CYBERBULLY HER INTO SUICIDE

***BREAKING NEWS***

New Yorktopia, NY

In an effort to let the world know of his daughter Nina’s success, King Rupert sent the army’s finest dragons into the sky to decorate the clouds with messages of congratulations for the Princess as she comes of age. Quotes such as “transitioning from the castle to my own villa with so few servants will be a daunting task,” “I’m quite pleased I will not have to live near any shops with low-end spices or fabrics,” and “I’m on my own now, making it in this world!” danced around the sky.

As these messages plastered the clouds, the peasant folk below took in the show. However, the novelty wore off rather quickly. The Blacksmith’s son drew his phone from his pocket and began to furiously tap, tap, tap away. Not so long after, beeps and buzzes could be heard for miles in every direction the Kingdom. The Blacksmith’s son first wrote: “Uhhhhh does anyone else see the irony here?” He wrote this with good cause. The Princess had a history of insensitivity to the poor and had, on more than a few occasions, said things even the royal fool might not dare say. The Blacksmith’s son spoke his mind tastefully, made some compelling arguments, and even started a healthy back-and-forth about important issues within the realm.

What followed, however, was unexpected. The following is a timeline of posts in response to the Blacksmith’s son’s initial thoughts.

Barry The Jr. Blacksmith, 10:05 am

It happens all the time, the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. This is maybe more true today than ever. For the King to so excessively pat his daughter on the back  is laughable when there are people who go days without food outside the castle walls. My father and I work seven days a week at the smith shop and can only imagine what it would be like to live where the Princess is “just going to squeak by.”  Uhhhhh does anyone else see the irony here? I hope we can come together as a community and help each other out when we see someone in need because it seems the Royal Family still does not have a clue!

Sarah The Swordsman’s Sister, 10:11 am

Totally and completely agree! They don’t get it yet again and we suffer!

Brenda The Blower’s Daughter, 10:15 am

Does anyone remember when the Princess said that my dad should stop hiring people to blow glass when there were so many people in the castle who have gold with no designs??? Like WHAT! Not all of us live in the CASTLE you dumb wench!! LIKE WHAT!

Fiona The Farmer, 10:23 am

This is wack. When it happen?

Brenda The Blower’s Daughter, 10:24 am

TODAY! This happened TO-FRICKING-DAY! Not one hundred years ago, THIS FRICKING MORNING!

Fiona The Farmer, 10:25 am

So wack

Willard (not a wizard) The Chemist, 10:31 am

I thought we were progressing when we accepted witchcraft as the one true science!

Members of the community bod over their personal opinions every day, but this particular story was put through twists and turns online making it into something completely different on the other end.

Fred The Farmer SHARED a post, 10:38 am

    Yo! Isn’t this like so wack??

Blake The Butcher’s Brother, 10:39 am

    U kiddin I hate this girl. I’m illiterate, butt she’s an idiot. #shouldIbearapper?

Steve The Silversmith’s Second Cousin, 10:40 am

    WHATTTTTTT man! Throw her in the dungeon!

Steve The Silversmith’s Second Cousin SHARED a post, 10:41am

    Yo I know! She’s probably like this because her parents were never around as a kid?

Nicky The Seamstress’ Suiter, 10:41am

    OMG she should be behind bars!

Blake The Butcher’s Brother, 10:41 am

    HATE this girl. I mean Maebe I cant speel but she should be locked in a Ceel! #2for2

Fiona The Farmer 10:41am

Nice Blake! If ur Dad was King who knows what you could do… TALENT

Steve The Silversmith’s Second Cousin

OMG BLAKE STFU SMH

Willard (not a wizard) The Chemist, 10:41am

    Abra ka kill yourself, am I right!! 🙂

Penny The Painter, 10:41am

    SECONDED PLEEEAAAASEEEEE JUST GO KILLL YOURSELF!!!

Fiona The Farmer, 10:42 am

    SUICIDE!!!

Blake The Butcher’s Brother, 10:42 am

    @princessnina Hey hey my shoes aint never tied…HEY HEY  COMMITT SUEICIDE

#artist #influencer #newkanye

Fiona The Farmer, 10:42 am

YESSS Killer Rhymes!

A Stranger Who Didn’t Even See The Sky Writing, 10:42 am

    I hope this bitch kills herself, if she doesn’t I’ll probably kill myself #Killyourself

New Yorktopia lost their Princess this morning at 10:42 am. In a note placed by the side of her bed, next to her golden goblet filled with poison, next to a copy of Atlas Shrugged, next to a stable of new ponies, next to a case of rare jewelry, next to a picture of her and her family with her face cut out with the words “I’m sorry” written across it… read a letter that said: I should probably kill myself, the people on the internet want me to.

— A Well-Mannered Grump

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