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Pence Flouts William Henry Harrison’s Orders Not To Walk Directly into the Battle of Tippecanoe Unprotected

Pence Flouts William Henry Harrison’s Orders Not To Walk Directly into the Battle of Tippecanoe Unprotected

Pence Flouts William Henry Harrison’s Orders Not To Walk Directly into the Battle of Tippecanoe Unprotected

When Vice President Mike Pence roamed into the midst of the Battle of Tippecanoe on Tuesday, he proved that he wasn’t no little sissy girl because he was a big strong man.

Despite the policy described, in detail by Indiana’s territorial governor William Henry Harrison, Pence opted to meander through the battlefield unphased.

“I haven’t died yet and I’ve looked like a straight-up boss up to this point so yeah, I think I’ll continue to look sick as heck.”

In the heat of battle Pence ran into Henry Harrison. Again Henry Harrison pleaded with Vice President Pence to understand the gravity of the situation. He urged Pence to consider how the lives of those around him might change if he was stabbed through the thoracic cavity with a rusty bayonet.

“Who am I to meddle with Mother Nature. If it’s my time to go, it’s my time to go.”

We expect this to be one of the last stories we break on Mr. Pence. We expect he will behave the back of his head blown out because he thought it would be a good idea to confront the cannonball face to face.

-A Well-Mannered Grump

by: Joe McNaney

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