NASA Finds Evidence of Parallel Universe Where Time Runs Backward and Trump Wears a Cute Lil’ Propeller Hat
Finally, we can all go back to the good ole days! The nation’s best physicists have discovered evidence of a parallel universe where time runs backward and President Trump wears an embarrassing multicolored propeller hat.
We could focus on the numbers and the quantum physics of this story, but it wouldn’t make much sense as we collectively barely managed to receive a B in high school physics. In lieu of any in-depth analysis of the claims that NASA has found a parallel universe, we will instead focus on the effect a propeller hat would have on Donald Trump’s credibility.
“I personally would love to live in a universe where President Trump wore a stupid little hat. The hat would make people take him less seriously and the country would be better off,” said an area liberal snowflake.
“In my humble opinion and in the opinion of the lord for whom I speak, If President Trump were to wear a stupid propeller hat, it would be for a good reason. He would obviously be making not so subtle commentary on the political establishment,” stated an area right-wing swine.
We interviewed hundreds of people and like clockwork, their political leanings aligned directly with their opinion on the propeller hat of President Trump. We shouldn’t be surprised though, for in our timeline, the propeller hat exists in the form of a red trucker hat and people are just as divided. This is because the one thing that unifies large groups of people more than unification is division.
-A Well-Mannered Grump