Man Who Put All Eggs in Noah’s Ark End of World Scenario Basket Real GDang Petty Right Now
THE END OF THE WORLD-
Yeah, COVID-19 sucks but, at least you haven’t spent the last two decades of your life going all-in on a Noah’s Ark end of the world type scenario only to be stifled by a literal germ.
At least you’re not Paul Fisher.
Ooooh, Paul Petty.
Fisher, a 72-year-old retired woodworker from Yeehaw Junction, Florida (it would be Florida) has been a conspiracy theory enthusiast and good wittle catholic boy for most of his life. Naturally, with Fisher’s knowledge of the good book and the absolute and undeniable truths held within, Paul developed a bit of an obsession with building an ark to replicate the one Noah crafted all those fictitious years ago. The bile says it so, of course, the world will flood, and of course, Paul needed a big floaty boat.
In an embarrassing turn of events, no boat was needed. What’s more embarrassing is that the Holy Bible makes many a mention of sickness and pandemic and yet Fisher never thought of devoting 20 years of his life to studying biotech. Ya know, science. No this was the Bible, the Bible cares not for science and fact. No, Fischer opted instead to purchase approximately 2,204,622 lbs. of the sturdiest lumber the Home Depot near his home had to offer, spend nearly 43800 hours (5 years) constructing a big floaty thing, gather two of all the animals known to humankind (available within a reasonable distance from his house), and hunker down and wait for the inevitable world-ending flood that would come any second… Ya know, the logical route.
We hope Paul has antibacterial soap and clean water on the ark.
-A Well-Mannered Grump