Elon Musk Won’t Let SpaceX Launch Move Forward Until Each Astronaut Tongue Kisses The Ship
Today, a SpaceX Falcon 9 rocket and Crew Dragon capsule is scheduled to launch two NASA astronauts to the International Space Station, but not until they give the ship a wet and sloppy smooch.
Everything was in order and the astronauts were ready for launch and as the countdown commenced Elon Musk materialized, seemingly out of nowhere, on the top of the spacecraft. “Today is a day to remember, the first private company venturing into space. Before you go through, you’ll need to kiss the ship,” said Musk.
The astronauts and grounds crew out a collective “Huh.” In a standoff that lasted a long four minutes, Musk eventually got what he wanted. Elon got the astronauts to exit the ship come to the top and give the ship a super sloppy smooch.
When asked why Musk did what he did he responded by saying, it’s a power thing, it’s always been a power thing. I’m kinda fucked up.
-A Well-Mannered Grump