Certifiable Genius Must Have Done Something Right Filing His Taxes, He Just Got a $1200 Check From The President Himself
“I’m pretty sure I’m pretty smart,” said Rodger Flarpston, certifiable genius.
This past Wednesday morning when Flarpston opened his mailbox he was greeted with an envelope that, to use his own words, “was sent to him from The White House.” We interpret this to mean that the envelope was sent from the government.
Initially, Flarpston thought he was finally being brought to justice for his crimes against the state for his use of the infamous illegal music downloading app, Limewire.
Flarpston’s anxiety quickly vanished when he opened the envelope to find a $1200 check from the president himself. “I must have filed my taxes pretty good this year, I’m pretty sure I’m pretty good at tax filing,” commented Flarpston.
While there’s no exact way to tell how long Flarpston will operate under the assumption that his stimulus check is his tax return, we would put our money on an awful fucking long time.
-A Well-Mannered Grump