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Black Cherry White Claw is the Most Popular Girl in School and She’s #SORRYNOTSORRY


Don’t take this the wrong way, but you just aren’t as pretty as I am. See my slender can, my pink detailing, and my sick wave tattoo? I make the boys go wild. It’s like they get drunk off me.


It’s not my fault that I’m photogenic AF. Everyone is always posting pictures of me by the pool or at the beach. I party hard. Wherever I go, the sun and fun follow. I’m #SummerGoals and you just have to deal with that.


Sure, you may think I’m just one in a six-pack, but you’re wrong. I’m bubblier than other girls and I’m constantly sparkling. I practically fizz over whenever I open up to someone new.


Oh, and not for nothing, but I’m Made Pure®. No gluten. Few carbs. That’s right. I only put the freshest stuff inside me. Unlike some people…


And, once boys get their first taste? Well, let’s just say, they always come back for seconds. 


#SorryNotSorry #DontchaWishYourGirlfriendWasAWhiteClawLikeMe


By: Timothy Janovsky

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