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Area Politician Pauses and Thinks Before Disregarding Human Life


This past Wednesday, July the twenty-third, area politician Blane Flewmerflewmin showed a side of himself most of us thought him incapable of showing.

Flewmerfewmin took a full two seconds to think before he disregarded human life in its entirety.

This deep thinking took place when Flewmerfewmin was asked, money or thousands of American citizen’s blood on your hands? Flewmerflewmin inhaled with a quizzical tilt of his eyebrows and saw in his mind what we can only assume was the pie chart listed below.

Things That Are Important To Me

Given the simplicity of the presumed pie chart, Flewmerflewmin only needed two seconds to mull things over. “Money, I prefer money,” said Flewmerflewmin as he began to brandish his pearly whites to the television cameras, hoping his nice teeth and holier-than-thou demeanor would sway his constituents to forget he would sell their beating hearts for a crisp five-dollar bill.


By: Joe McNaney

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