5 Beauty Products to Give You Insecurities You Didn’t Know You Could Have
Have you been feeling really good about yourself recently? Well, stop that! There is always something to be insecure about. Haha! Capitalism has a way of doing that. Behold! 5 beauty products available for purchase that will give you insecurities you didn’t even know you could have!
1. Arm Spanx
Apparently there’s something wrong with your arms now! Arm Spanx are made from hosiery to compress your arms and give you a blood clot maybe.
2. Fresh Breasts
Oh, man. Do we have to think about boob sweat now? Ugh. Our tits are just trying their breast.
3. Camel Toe Guards
What a super-cool invention…Who knew you were supposed to feel insecure about your vulva! Apparently, Kim K. is a big fan, go figure.
Well…need to worry about slimming our faces. Sweet. This slims your face down by working the muscles around your jaw and makes you look like one of those blow-up sex dolls.
5. Asshole bleach
We know your vag should a) be invisible under clothing and b)should look like a little baby vag. That’s all cool. But what good is a pink vagina to you if your asshole doesn’t match? Good news that the market has decided that this is also something we should feel insecure about!
-A Well-Mannered Grump