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5 Beauty Products to Give You Insecurities You Didn’t Know You Could Have

5 Beauty Products to Give You Insecurities You Didn’t Know You Could Have

5 Beauty Products to Give You Insecurities You Didn’t Know You Could Have

Have you been feeling really good about yourself recently? Well, stop that! There is always something to be insecure about. Haha! Capitalism has a way of doing that. Behold! 5 beauty products available for purchase that will give you insecurities you didn’t even know you could have!

1. Arm Spanx

Apparently there’s something wrong with your arms now! Arm Spanx are made from hosiery to compress your arms and give you a blood clot maybe.

Arm Spanx

2. Fresh Breasts

Oh, man. Do we have to think about boob sweat now? Ugh. Our tits are just trying their breast.

Fresh Breasts

3. Camel Toe Guards

What a super-cool invention…Who knew you were supposed to feel insecure about your vulva! Apparently, Kim K. is a big fan, go figure.

Camel Toe Guards

4. Face-Slimmer

Well…need to worry about slimming our faces. Sweet. This slims your face down by working the muscles around your jaw and makes you look like one of those blow-up sex dolls.

Face-Slimmer

5. Asshole bleach

We know your vag should a) be invisible under clothing and b)should look like a little baby vag. That’s all cool. But what good is a pink vagina to you if your asshole doesn’t match? Good news that the market has decided that this is also something we should feel insecure about!

Asshole bleach

-A Well-Mannered Grump

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